Fake motorcycle police. Why?

People who like to pretend they're police baffle me and annoy me in equal measure.

I took this picture the other day at Cobham, about to join the A3 heading to Guildford. I guessed that the guy on the left had just bought his rather fetching BMW off the guy on the right. He was being led to the A3 by the guy on the right and sent on his way.

I said to my girlfriend, who was sat next to me: "Keep an eye on the bloke on the right, I bet when he joins the A3, everyone in the outside lane will anchor on, he'll join the middle lane and sit there at 61mph and everyone will bunch up behind him, afraid to go past".

That's pretty much exactly what happened. As we joined the A3, from the elevated position you could see cars doing a good 80mph in the outside lane but as soon as we joined from their left, everyone behind slowed up. Mr Fake Policeman moved into the middle lane and held a steady 60mph. I told my girlfriend to get in the outside lane and go past him and hopefully others would follow. As we did, he approached the M25 junction and pulled off - he had no need to be in that middle lane, especially at 60mph.. When he pulled off the A3, as you would expect, traffic went back to how it was before.

I just don't get people who dress up like this. What do they lack in their life that means they now feel the need to 'go out on patrol'? They clearly know that the way their bike is stickered up, people will assume they're police and so they'll act accordingly. You might chip in and say 'Of course he's not police, you can easily tell' but the fact is you've had time to study the picture and from 50 metres away the average car driver can't tell the difference. Afterall, everyone anchors on when they see a 'Traffic Officer' thinking that they too are police.

What really grates me is that more often than not, the fake coppers are questionable riders themselves, just like this guy was.

So, dress like a policeman, make traffic slow down, then when they realise you're a fake, they brandish all bikers as idiots. I'm not against being seen, I just don't think you need to try and elevate yourself in some way by trying to dress like a copper.

Do us all a favour: Get. A. Life.

By Ben Cope